You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
