if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize