Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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