; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
