yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
