Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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