you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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