Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
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