He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
