im about as happy as oj after his trial
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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