no, he came in my armpit
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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