And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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