Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
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