I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
