I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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