My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize