Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
