Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
