she looked like the bat from fern gully.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
third nipple confirmed
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
