all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
