Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
