I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
