they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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