Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
