pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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