well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
