Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
