i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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