I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't trust your balls anymore.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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