porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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