Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
