I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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