i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
