Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
