I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
