Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
we're so committed to being not committed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
