hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The Olympian is in my bed
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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