420 ftw
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
