You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
