The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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