I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I want to be your penis for a week.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
