it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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