we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I love having hate sex.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
