I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
