she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
