Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
false alarm. still invincible.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
