As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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