just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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