6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
