This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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