Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
