listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
