this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
