I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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