I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize
