Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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