dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize