I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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