ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Randomize
